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I'm Not Sharing My Man.

Growing up in my family, one of the main principles that my daddy pressed on my sisters and myself was the importance of sharing. If you had twenty dollars and a sister needed ten, you gave it to her. If you were eating a Snickers Bar and a sister asked for a piece, you gave it to her. If for some reason, there was something that you were absolutely unwilling to share, you made a way for that person to have something that would work for them so that they too could be happy in that moment. It was law to never come home with just food for yourself.

"Did you call to see if your mama or sisters wanted anything?" He would ask.

It would frustrate me to no end because I just felt that if they were hungry, they would go get food the same way I did. I still support that thought process, however, even now at twenty-eight years old I like to make sure everybody is straight before I sit down and enjoy what I have.

So where am I going with this, you wonder. Follow me.

There are more women than I can count who feels entitled to a man based merely on appearance or status. There are women who feel that just because she wants him, he MUST want her back. Ultimately, the problem that lies within this issue is that we can't get to the man God has designed for us because we are too busy forcing ourselves in the lives of the man who has been designed for someone else. And where this could apply, I am not speaking solely in terms of liking a married man. The issue is so much more deeply rooted than just that. This can even apply with forcing ourselves on unmarried men.

My sister has a blog called Dear Adam on her website In this blog she addresses the one who God created to be HER Adam. And the fact is this: every man you meet is not your Adam. Not only are you missing out on YOUR Adam by your obsession with this man, but you are also pissing off the woman who has spiritual knowledge that he is HER Adam. To be honest, you may not care about your Adam. You may not care that he is someone else's Adam. But so many times we do ourselves such a disservice by holding on tightly to a self-willed possibility rather than seeking spiritual guidance on being ready to receive God's best.

Hear me out. I'm not writing this from a judgmental place. I write this from a place of having believed that someone else's Adam was mine. I write this from a defeat turned victorious place. I remember once fighting so hard to hold on to a word I knew God had given me that I didn't even realize that the word that God had given me was not for the one whom I thought it was for. The inability to walk away from what God has not prepared for you causes you nothing but distress as you watch him be the blessing that another woman has fasted and prayed for. Then you fall on the age old comment: She aint got **** noway. But what you're not realizing is that he was never going to be 'ish to you because he isn't your Adam.

If you know me, you know that I have a heart for single women because I know, too well, the thoughts we are often embarrassed to speak aloud. I know the insecurities that we have. I know the fears of not beating our biological time clocks. I know the consideration to settle for the mediocre relationship. I know these things too well.

Recently, my dedication to women empowerment was questioned...You see, people misunderstand what it means to have a calling and a purpose to something. It does not mean that I allow myself to be walked over. It does not mean that I allow myself to be placed in vulnerable situations that could possibly threaten my freedom or my life if someone angers me the right way. Funny enough, I learned women empowerment from my dad who has always made sure that I look out for my sisters. I understand now that my sisters are not only those biologically connected to me, but women period. And the same way daddy wanted me to make sure everybody had food before I sat down to eat alone, I feel the need to spread this truth to you.

Before I fully enjoy my Adam...I say to you that MY Adam is not your Adam; just like YOUR Adam can never be mine. But if you're looking for more than a good time....A LIFETIME...then it takes taking a step back and asking God to prepare you for the one that you are to do life with. Shoot, I haven't arrived. Lol. I'm single just like you but what I do know is that...MY Adam is for ME and I'm not sharing. But I will make sure you're straight before I sit down to enjoy my blessing.

Prayer: God help us to stay in our lanes. Give us more patience if that is what you require of us at this time. Give us wisdom on how to protect what you have given us. Give us understanding of what you require of us within these relationships. Teach us how to be kind to our sisters even in questionable situations. Help us to yet be firm in our convictions and trust you to always show your power. Amen.

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