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Single With a BAE: Not Losing ME for a Premature WE


Growing up Reel, when it was time for daddy to perform a wedding ceremony he would always have me to find his book that had the wedding script so that I could make a photocopy of the vows for him to review beforehand. Did I mention that it would be about thirty minutes before the wedding was scheduled to start? And while I should have been rushing, I would always stop to read the vows for myself. I would imagine one day saying it to the man who decides to promote me from Bae to wife. Even at a young age, I was always aware of the seriousness of those vows. For better or worse. Sickness and health. Richer or poorer. Love. Cherish. Honor. Obey. These words are strong. The principles are strong. The thought of submitting to a man is not something we should take lightly. And often, we are so ready to become Mrs. His Name that we don't think about what marriage actually entails; and while trying to familiarize ourselves with what will be required in the future we ultimately lose who we are in the present for something/someone that God hasn't even spoken for your life. It is extremely simple to make this crucial mistake. It is often done out of pure excitement of finally having a Bae. We have been beat to death with statistics that tell us that good men no longer exist. We have been made to feel like lepers because most men can't handle ambitious women. We have been led to believe that "niggaz ain't s#!t".....so when we finally meet someone who halfway meets the criteria of what a good man should be, we go bananas! Perhaps you have seen Coming to America. (and if you haven't, why are you reading this blog? Go find it and watch it NOW!!!) In the scene where Hakeem is about to marry the woman who was chosen for him, he decides that he wants to know more about her. He begins to question her about her favorite food and her answer is, "whatever food you like." He asks her what does she like to do and she answers, "whatever you like to do." Hakeem was about 50 shades of turned off and she never even realized that she was wrong for her responses. She never even realized that while being groomed to be his wife, she had lost who she was. And while most of us laugh as she exits the scene barking like a dog at Hakeem's request, we don't even realize that in an attempt to keep Bae happy, we have forgotten to shine the light that drew Bae to you in the first place. And let's face it, sometimes we lose ourselves in the ability to say "I'm in a relationship." The things we do for or with our Bae becomes driven by how many likes we can get on social media and less on enjoying the precious moments as they happen. We lose ourselves in the hype of being his woman that we don't even see it coming that he's no longer interested.

Then we're back at Square One. Prayer: God please help us to treat the relationships that you allow us to enter with care. Help us to stay grounded as you continue to promote us to higher levels of love. Let us keep you as the main focus so that we can always be mindful of your instruction. Help us to stay valuable by being exactly who you created us to be because we know that who you have sent for us is the one who appreciates us as we are. In Jesus' name...Amen. Entry Three: I'm not crazy...Am I?

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