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Single With A Bae: ...I'm scared!

B.Reel

So in last week's post...I discussed a few vital points that I felt are necessary to realize/address while being single with a bae in dealing with social media. I am still going to vlog with my girls about it...I didn't forget. My feelings, however, are so cut and dry when it comes to a bae and social media, that it can easily be conveyed as salty (so let me address that). And if you haven't figured it out yet, I am always willing to be very honest and very vulnerable if it means helping someone else.

I believe that people go through things...not just for themselves, but to help someone else.

I've had a rough battle with social media. And boys. So rough of a battle that I don't even know if rough is a good enough word to use. lol foreal foreal.

The truth is: we sometimes fight other women over men! Maybe not physically...but the stares, the eye rolls, the judging, the scruntiny, the disrespect, the subliminal posts, etc. yeahhh it's fighting. And sometimes, you end up losing. And sometimes you lose publicly.

No one likes to lose. And when you have lost publicly and been mocked by people who only know your name, but not your truth...it hurts. And when you heal from that pain, you realize that privacy is the safest way to go from here on out. I always say that sometimes I wish I could just live on an island and work a fruit stand and no one would care about me, who I loved, who loved me....or WHO DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

Social media is where everyone has an opinion, and that opinion gets expressed many times without regards to people's feelings. So for me, I know that my disdain for social media and relationships is totally my defense mechanism against the foolery of it all.

So what is this post really about, you're probably wondering? What am I really trying to say, huh? I'm saying that sometimes we're in relationships/situations...whatever you like to call it...but sometimes we still have remnants of fear from past hurt. Sometimes we feel like...okay this is a good situation but Lord knows the past can certainly be repeated.

It's true...the only thing constant in this world is change.

Will his feelings change? Will people change his opinion of me? Will the way he makes me feel change? And if yes, how will it break me THIS time?

Today though, I assure you that from every pain that I have experienced, I have found purpose in it. I can assure you that if changes occur with you and your bae for the better, it is good because of God. If changes occur with you and your bae that results letting go of bae, it is still good because of God. I can assure you that God makes no mistakes and that he knows who should be in your life at every given phase of your life. Don't be afraid to be happy in THIS moment.

It is important that we enjoy our moments without fear of the past repeating itself.

FEAR does not come from God.

No fear exists where his love is. Rather, perfect love gets rid of fear, because fear involves punishment. The person who lives in fear does not have perfect love. (1 John 4:18)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

I will always choose privacy. Not secrecy but privacy.

Keep things private because the details should be kept between the two of you...Understand that you don't need to validate your relationship/situation to anyone. When you realize that, you won't tell every single detail to any ear willing to hear.

On the other hand, sometimes we are soooo private and tight lipped that we don't even open up to God to appreciate what he is doing in our lives through this person (bae)...because whether it lasts forever or not, there is purpose in the situation.

Remember: don't let fear be your weapon against something that has a chance to be great

. Be fearless in your situation, and if that seems impossible...then you may need a little more time with yourself.

And if a little more time is needed...that's okay! Just learn what God is wanting you to know.

PRAYER: God teach us how much of ourselves should be given to the world. God we thank you for what is happening in our lives right now. Thank you for the lessons from the past and we praise you now that our future will be blessed; but most of all...we are grateful for NOW. Who you have placed in our lives NOW...we pray that their purpose in our lives will be fulfilled...and that they will push us closer to our destiny. Amen.


 
 
 
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Kristen

ITMT has provided an amazing community that’s full of encouragement, laughter and motivation! Community has been something I’ve lacked as I have journeyed to my promise from God, but I’m grateful that God has sent me a wonderful community such as ITMT so I don’t have to fight and progress alone. ITMT’s community is an answered prayer.

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Quita

ITMT has impacted me in a great way, mainly as it relates to the importance of community. For single women to have a safe place to just be... is without a doubt one of the greatest things to have in one’s single season. I love that we not only pray and trust God as we wait for our marriages, but we also laugh, cry, and hold one another accountable to being who and what God has called us to be overall. I love us so much!

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Jasmine

ITMT has been the community I prayed for and received without noticing. When it comes to increase in faith, confidence, and being honestly transparent, ITMT was the place to be!! I’ve gained holy counsel, lifelong relationships and stepped into a part of myself I wasn’t aware was in me. It’s been a mental, physical and spiritual growth journey that I plan to remain with! Thank you BReel for your obedience, it lead to my obedience and so many more!! #obedience is greater than sacrifice!

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Vonya

ITMT has been a huge blessing in my life from the very beginning. Over the past year, it has given me more than I ever expected or realized I needed. During my time of being single, I've learned important principles that are helping me become the woman God wants me to be. As I’ve worked on myself, I've started to see myself more clearly, just as God sees me. This has helped me trust my own thoughts and decisions more. I’ve also learned to listen to God's guidance when it comes to my love life. I’m really thankful for BReel, who has been such a fighter for the Christian single woman.

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Sylvia

ITMT has helped me see the blessing in waiting. I’ve gained a healthier perspective of the assignment of marriage which has also allowed me to see the value in waiting. I can now comfortably and confidently say I don’t mind waiting for what God has promised me.

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Phylicia Jas

ITMT has been a blessing to my soul and provided me with community and accountability I had no idea I needed. To be able to do life with so many amazing women, in the meantime is a continued reminder of Gods love for me. There is nothing better than a REAL safe space where you can authentically be yourself as you grow closer to God in the meantime.

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Ashlee

ITMT has blessed me by providing me with a strong sense of community and support. It allowed me to gain deeper connections with others, strengthen my connection with God, and it has allowed me to activate my spiritual gifts.

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