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I AM TIRED!!!


Sometimes I hate being called. You know called by God to fulfill a certain purpose. Sometimes I wish I could just fall underneath the radar and be normal. Sometimes I want to say exactly how I feel about life.

I get tired of waiting.

I get tired of hoping.

I get tired of believing in the manifestation of a word that I can't see and calling it faith.

I get tired of fasting.

I get tired of praying.

I get tired of turning around three times.

I get tired of high fiving my neighbor.

I get tired of going to the altar.

I get tired of believing in love.

I wanna be a cynic again.

I wanna listen to 808s and heartbreak and release my expectation of people.

I get tired of black people getting excited about free cell phones.

I get tired of black on black crime being okay but we turn up when a cop does it.

I get tired of being terrified to get pulled over.

I get tired of white people saying "some of my best friends are black."

I get tired of little girls thinking that good hair means straight hair.

I get tired of hearing team light skin and team dark skin.

I get tired of black people being mean to whites and not thinking it's racism as well.

I get tired of married people trying to be in a relationship on the side but single people are never ready for a relationship.

I get tired of people who can't move on.

I get tired of men getting applauded for sleeping around while a girl who does the same is a hoe.

I get tired of seeing interaction between father and children be replaced by child support payments.

I get tired of seeing women have babies and don't do right by them when deserving women can't conceive.

I get tired of power couples with no power.

I get tired of caring.

Tired of understanding.

Tired of searching for the good in everyone I meet while being under a microscope searching for only the bad.

I get tired of people lying.

I get tired of beefing with females I've never had a conversation with.

I get tired of being humble.

I JUST GET TIRED!!!!

I love God with all of my heart...but if you're willing to be an honest Christian then you're willing to admit sometimes you just get tired. We get so caught up sometimes wanting to look like the perfect Christian that we suppress how we feel inside out of fear that we will be judged for how we feel. "If I say this, they'll think I don't love God. They'll think I shouldn't say things like that." But our relationship with God is just like any other relationship we've ever had. Except this one actually works. How can God be there for us if we're not honest? he had to have known that day to day concerns would get overwhelming. For those moments he told us:

Cast your cares upon the Lord, because he cares for you. -1 Peter 5:7

He had to had known that our thoughts would do the most so he told us:

and all their intellectual arrogance that oppose the knowledge of God. We take every thought captive so that it is obedient to Christ. -2 Corinthians 10:5

He had to had known that we would get tired so he told us:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. -Galatians 6:9

The truth is...sometimes we get tired!!! But Jesus is enough for the moment. He is enough for the situation. He is enough. Be honest with him. Even with being called or anointed...and loving God with all of your heart, sometimes you just get tired. Don't hide from it.

Prayer: God thank you for this day. Forgive me for complaining, but thank you for understanding my heart. Thank you for always listening to me. Thank you for making my life better. Give me understanding and clarity to the things in my life that cause me concern. Those things that I cannot change, give me the wisdom to handle it. In Jesus' name....Amen.


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