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When the Confident Woman Feels Insecure


Honesty begins in the mirror.

What currently has you insecure? I know with all of your confidence that nothing in the world could possibly cause you to be insecure, right? Wrong. Insecurities can happen to the best of us. For us singles, it is the enemy's most effective tactic. And it seems like they show up completely unexpected, right? One minute you're so sure of yourself. You're so sure of your situationship/relationship/whatever you call it ... and as quickly as thunder follows lightening, something has resurrected an insecurity.

Insecurities can't be measured only by physical traits. I think the worst insecurities are the ones that are far less obvious; the ones that we can hide with slayed hair, a beat face, and a dope pair of heels. That innermost thought that you'll never have a serious relationship because only married men approach you... that grim whisper that you're only good enough to be used... that hovering feeling that everyone is laughing at you for thinking that somebody is actually serious about you. . . I N S E C U R I T I E S.

"I'm getting older," you may be thinking, "I still have no sureness that I won't be alone forever."

"Everyone is getting pregnant."

"Here we go. It's engagement season again and I'm just here looking crazy."

Envy is Insecurity's daughter. Sometimes no matter how successful you are in some areas of your life; if you allow insecurity to take over in ONE area, you will become envious of people and situations which can cause a huge mess in EVERY area. An envious spirit exposes an ungrateful heart. It negates every other blessing that you've been allowed so far in your life.

And to know that so much can come from allowing a "simple" insecurity to linger...Crazy, right?

So how do we handle it? The very moment you feel some weird kind of way about something. Don't run from the feeling. Be honest with yourself. Get in the mirror and tell the truth.

I am scared.

I am pissed.

I am annoyed.

I am hurt.

I am concerned.

I don't want to be forgiving.

I don't want to be patient.

I don't want to be understanding.

I am tired of waiting.

Why did he choose her over me?

What made him propose to her?

Maybe it's my hair.

Maybe it's my butt.

Maybe it's my skin.

JUST BE HONEST. Get it out of your system. Take a minute and be petty. Take a minute and criticize what you see. Take a minute and question how your life is shaping up. Just do it and don't feel bad about it. Once you've been honest with yourself about your feelings. Take those feelings to God. The things aren't in God's will to be changed, he will allow you to find the sweetest peace.

Cast all of your cares upon the Lord; because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

It isn't always time to give your truth to other people. No matter how much they love you; they just may not be ready or equipped to handle how you feel. But God can handle every thought, every feeling, every concern. Serious or petty. But you have to trust him to walk you through those insecure moments to avoid finding a home with envy laying as its foundation. And as always, I speak to you as I speak to myself.


 
 
 

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ITMT has provided an amazing community that’s full of encouragement, laughter and motivation! Community has been something I’ve lacked as I have journeyed to my promise from God, but I’m grateful that God has sent me a wonderful community such as ITMT so I don’t have to fight and progress alone. ITMT’s community is an answered prayer.

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ITMT has impacted me in a great way, mainly as it relates to the importance of community. For single women to have a safe place to just be... is without a doubt one of the greatest things to have in one’s single season. I love that we not only pray and trust God as we wait for our marriages, but we also laugh, cry, and hold one another accountable to being who and what God has called us to be overall. I love us so much!

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ITMT has been the community I prayed for and received without noticing. When it comes to increase in faith, confidence, and being honestly transparent, ITMT was the place to be!! I’ve gained holy counsel, lifelong relationships and stepped into a part of myself I wasn’t aware was in me. It’s been a mental, physical and spiritual growth journey that I plan to remain with! Thank you BReel for your obedience, it lead to my obedience and so many more!! #obedience is greater than sacrifice!

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ITMT has been a huge blessing in my life from the very beginning. Over the past year, it has given me more than I ever expected or realized I needed. During my time of being single, I've learned important principles that are helping me become the woman God wants me to be. As I’ve worked on myself, I've started to see myself more clearly, just as God sees me. This has helped me trust my own thoughts and decisions more. I’ve also learned to listen to God's guidance when it comes to my love life. I’m really thankful for BReel, who has been such a fighter for the Christian single woman.

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ITMT has helped me see the blessing in waiting. I’ve gained a healthier perspective of the assignment of marriage which has also allowed me to see the value in waiting. I can now comfortably and confidently say I don’t mind waiting for what God has promised me.

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ITMT has been a blessing to my soul and provided me with community and accountability I had no idea I needed. To be able to do life with so many amazing women, in the meantime is a continued reminder of Gods love for me. There is nothing better than a REAL safe space where you can authentically be yourself as you grow closer to God in the meantime.

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