Single With A Bae: STRIP
Strip.
According to google, Merriam-Webster, and dictionary.com:
Remove all coverings from
Leave bare of accessories or fittings
An act of undressing
To take away or remove
Perhaps you have seen a strip show...and if you haven't, then let's forget I said it and I haven't either. ;)
No...but really, the point is to entice you and awaken your curiosity with each garmet removal. It is done slowly and sensually; thus, creating pleasure to the viewer in anticipation of ultimately knowing what all is to be offered by the stripper.
Have you ever considered stripping for the bae? NOT YOUR CLOTHES...but from all of the extra enhancementss that people ultimately believe is what shapes who you are: The cosmetics, the weave, the cute clothes, etc. It has been my experience that by stripping, you can make a clear decision on whether to delve deeper into commitment with bae or to let bae become ex-bae. It is underneath it all where your truth lies.
When I think about marriage, I don't think about a wedding. I did when I was between the ages of 16 and 25. Now, however, when I consider marriage, I think about my undone hair, my morning breath, my God awful mood swings (yes they are horrible). I think about weight fluctuation. One month my clothes fit fine, the next month they're loose, and the next month they're tight. I mean...really, I think about passing gas, eating out of my plate and his. I think about how I get joy from a good belch. I mean all of the annoying and not so pretty things that most eyes don't see...I think about it when I consider marriage. It's a scary thought that some guy will one day know ALL of the things that makes me not so dope. On the other hand, though, it is comforting to know that there is a bae out there able to handle it all.
You know, I have always been willing to experiment with my life to yield deep insight regarding certiain things. And I remember in 2008 after chopping all of my hair off, I said to myself while looking in the mirror at a style I wasn't sure I liked...and said, my husband will love my natural hair and any man who doesn't, will not make it far in my life. I knew at the age of twenty that if a man is not receptive of who I am naturally then he would never be my husband.
I remember there was this one guy...he swore we were going to get married. I remembered how good it sounded, but my gut was always like nahhhh...
At the time when he was relevant in my life, I wore weave alllllll of the time!!! Like my scalp was breathing, when??? WHEN??? smh! But I began stripping... little by little! One week I would see him and I wouldn't have on any makeup. He was cool with the bare face. I continued showing him more of who I was naturally until one day I didn't have weave when I saw him. He looked but said nothing. Eventually, he touched my kinky curls and said, "it's cute...BUT I prefer your weave." I remember saying, "Oh okay...what else do you prefer?" He told me that he also would prefer if I didn't wear red lipstick.
I didn't exchange a word. I just knew he wasn't the one.
Ironically, within the next two weeks, he showed up dressed nicely but musty. YEAH I said it, MUSTY. I guess he said since we stripping and showing the real us...leggo! Needless to say, things ended shortly thereafter. What I learned from that experience is that...some guys aren't bad guys! They just aren't good for you! As much as I want to be accepted in my simplest form, I also want to be accepted when I am completely turnt up with my red lips! And this guy wasn't feeling me in either light.
We have to learn not to become bitter when the stripped down version of us is not accepted. Respect the fact that everyone is not for you and move on. There is someone who loves the very essence of who you are...just as you are, with no filter or with as many filters as you like! You may not have met him yet, but keep doing and being you because someone is watching!!!! Just as Ruth was working in the field doing her thing not worried about nothing but surviving...Boaz was asking who is that girl!!! (Reference Ruth 2:5)
Someone is already crazy about you. And when the time is RIGHT...you will know.
Quick story: The guy I met after the guy mentioned above...well, how we met was and still is funny! He was and still is the reason I randomly bust out smiling or laughing because when we met...we talked about everything under the sun. He wasn't giving me any lines. No Hey Beautiful this and that...just raw authentic conversation. Then one day out of the blue he goes: Can I say something? I'm like ummm yeah, wassup! He says..."You so fine with that fro and them red lips." Can you say BAEEEEEEE!!!!! LOL...
Prayer: God thank you for making us how you made us. Thank you for not making us all the same. We ask now for more confidence and boldness to accept your creativity in the making of us. Give us the strength to walk away from anyone who wants us to lessen who we are. Give us the patience to wait on the one who appreciates us just as we are. We give you praise. We adore you. We are the works of your hands and that alone makes us beautiful. Amen.
NEXT POST: Single With A Bae: The Ex Who Won't Go Away
I listen to this song once a week!!!! Take a listen!