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Single With A Bae: I Can't Stand My Ex


Soooo...you still get pissed when you hear his name, huh? You still cringe when you see things working out with the girl who came right after you, huh? You make comments like, "She ain't got nothing!"..."He aint finna act right with her either!" ...And maybe that's the truth. Maybe she should run to the hills just like you should have, BUT that is not your truth to share with the world. It's one thing to share your own personal story...but it is altogether different to openly discuss your opinion of a situation that doesn't concern you! And the moment you are the previous bae, the ex boo, the last girlfriend...discussing the NEXT only makes you look and sound bitter and bitterness is not cute.

**Here's a thought** Because he mishandled you, does not mean that he will mishandle the next. It COULD be that you just didn't require him to become a certain level of man FOR YOU. By that, I don't mean start barking orders left and right at your current bae. I mean three things with this suggestion:

1. You cannot make a man change. A man changes when he is ready and for whom he wants...and no matter how DOPE you may be, if you're not THAT girl who makes him want to be everything you want him to be...you're just not that girl.

2. Every man you meet is not the one. I mean, that would kind of take away from the moment you meet the one who is indeed...THE ONE. And...in order to get to the one, sometimes that means you gotta have some break ups! Don't let the break up break you down though...seriously! Have your time to feel how you feel. Then get the heck up! Get focused on something productive. Live your life.

3. Maybe you didn't set requirements. You can't say that he won't treat me right because he didn't treat you right...I got requirements! Maybe you didn't. And as stated above, even if you did set requirements....if he isn't your one...he won't reach or maintain them anyway. And just a thought...maybe you didn't meet his requirements! It's always hard to acknowledge that you were the one who made it not work BUT...just maybe!

**True Story** There was this one break up (if that's what it should even be called considering I never really knew what it was anyway...that's another blog, but I digress) ...this breakup nearly killed me! I mean, had ya girl asking what's wrong with me? Why her? I mean, I took low to a whole notha level and it was so sick because no one even knew because I hid it with a smile. Ugh, pure foolery. BUT...I remember when I was done with it. And I remember being done with it enough to try somebody new. And I remember when I knew that the somebody new wasn't going to last...he made ONE wrong move and I was 50 shades of DONE. I didn't argue. I didn't ask him for explanations. I just knew that he was not it FOR ME....Because I knew that heartbreak wasn't my final destination, I got focused on ME. I'd let myself down once, and I wasn't going to do it again. I knew that the next somebody would be special. To even have my attention or time, he would have to be special. I knew that the next somebody...well, if he wasn't the one; he would be the prototype.

I remember seeing this guy's face before even knowing his name...and thinking...hmmmm, I feel like I know him. I feel like we're close. I remember saying, I bet he's the male version of me. I remember him friending me on facebook and me wondering why because we only had two mutual friends. I remember talking to him for the first time about business, goals, politics, music...nothing superficial or trivial. I remember the day I thanked God that those past relationships didn't work. Because if I hadn't met the one; I knew I had met the prototype.

Prototype- a first, typical or preliminary model of something, especially a machine, from which other forms are developed or copied. (Google)

Being single really isn't a disgrace. It isn't walking around with a black veil of rejection. It just means that you haven't married yet. And nothing is guaranteed in having a bae, so keep your priorities where they should be. It's about focus. Life isn't about getting boo'd up. It's not about trying to tear down other people's relationships because it didn't work for you. It's about the journey...the experience. A husband is not our FINAL blessing. It is an addition to the many blessings that God has in store for us. So, take the journey! The bad days, the frustrating days, the days that you could care less, the fun days...take them all and know that God is in control. Hating your ex won't make your God given man come any faster. Hating on your ex's new relationship won't get you in a good relationship any faster.

If I'm not mistaking, every one of my ex boo thangs (lol) are now married or engaged...and I am so okay with that. It's not that I wasn't dope. Or that they were all jerks. We just weren't for each other. Understand that...and watch how you begin to shine!

We see where we are...God sees where he's taking us! Who God has for us will be able to stand comfortably in the capacity of our destiny.

Prayer: God teach us real love. Rid us of hate. Purify our motives and help us to trust your perfect plan. We thank you for the relationship that did not work. Thank you for giving us a no when we hoped for a yes. Thank you for knowing what's best for us and showing us what's best. We believe in you. We don't believe that good men no longer exist. We don't believe that because we are ambitious that we will be alone. We trust you to make our men what you will have them be and we trust that you will teach us to be Godly women to accept them and treat them right when they come. We love you God and trust your plan. Amen.


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