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Single With A Bae: Social Media






Social Cam (Do people still use that?)

Myspace (I tried to log on the other day but couldn't remember my login deets)

Social media...the place where people who shouldn't have a voice, have one. The place where people become celebrities but do nothing meaningful outside of posting a picture of their #OOTD (outfit of the day)...Sorry! I don't mean to sound so dismal...but I feel some kinda way about social media. I'm working on it everyday so pray 'long with me lol ;)


I have it all. I'm actually kind of two-faced when it comes to social media because one minute, I love it. I love connecting with so many people at the click of a button. I love sharing photos with my friends/followers. When done right, social media can be great. On the other hand, I can absolutely hate social media. I hate how people believe that social media is the source of validation. I hate how many relationships are broken because of it. I just hate it sometimes. In regards to being single with a bae, social media is a topic that was bound to be brought up.

The first thing I will say is this: If a website can break your relationship, it was NEVER solid.

Soooo...first thing is THIS:

1. Know your bae.

Is your bae a naturally private person? Or is your bae one who likes for everything to be known? You need to know this information and make sure you feel the same way. If you want EVERYTHING posted, but your bae does will not work. If your bae wants everything posted, but you don' will not work. Period. If this is your case, don't read's not needed! lol seriously!

2. Private vs. Secret

Private is defined as confined to or intended only for the persons immediately concerned; confidential. ( I feel WHOLEHEARTEDLY that relationships should be kept private from social media. I'm not saying never post a picture or anything like that...but I'm saying that posting every little thing about you and bae is pretty much like wearing a neyon yellow sign on your back saying "DRAMA PLEASE COME HERE!" Here's the thing: everyone who 'likes' your pictures doesn't LIKE your pictures. Always posting about the bae doesn't keep the women away from bit. Lol, if anything...they flock harder! And if I've said it once...I will say it again, You have to protect your situation. When your relationship is always visible, it is always open for attack.

Also, there is a certain special quality in sharing something with someone of which the rest of the world doesn't know every detail. It is a friendship builder. And shoot, some moments are just way to special to share. Like...I'm always answering questions here! Maybe someone can answer mine: How are you enjoying BAE if you're posting every single moment? How are you enjoying the fact that he feels comfortable enough to fall asleep on your lap...if you're sneaking a pic to post? The time is so precious to me...that I don't even be knowing where my phone is...let alone thinking about a facebook app. I understand, I'm a little different though.

Another thing, social media does not validate the authenticity of a relationship. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS TRUE FOR EVERYBODY...but a lot of what I have seen is that the couples who do the MOST with posting...are the ones in everybody else's inbox tryna get down. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS TRUE FOR EVERYBODY...I'm just saying what I'm saying. My blog, right? A picture here or! ALL DAY EVERYDAY...I would have to say NO. Especially when your name yet matches your daddy's...and not bae's. Many people will disagree with me...I watched a vlog once where a guy was saying, he can't love you if he won't post a picture of/with you...? OH OKAY! I'm guessing love just got real in the age of social media then. My mama and daddy didn't have facebook when they hooked up over 34 years ago, but that means nothing right? that's altogether different! If you speak to him in public and you get, my dear, are a secret. If anyone asks him about you...he gives the stank face! Well, you are a secret. And you know when you're a secret. You can say you don't know if you want, but you know. If you ever have to ask..."bae, am I a secret..." YOU ARE. Ima just say this: if you have put yourself in a position to be a secret...then you better be the best secret ever. Don't be trying to reveal yourself because you will leave the scene embarrassed. lol...I wonder if I should have said that. Oh well, my blog right? Seriously though, you're better than that. He tight, I know...but you're better than that!!!

So how do you find the median between privacy and secrecy? Well...communicate with the bae. If the entire topic sends bae into a complete funk; go ahead and let it go. He not feeling you like that. Just be sure to respect how he may feel about social media if it differs from how you feel. If he is the bae who could become more, you two will either agree or compromise. But understand that over-exposing your relationship may be cute, but the attacks never are. Telling every high and every low is not dope. Protect yourself. Protect bae. Protect the situation.

Me personally: lol I just don't want to have to clean my page if it doesn't work. #shrugs

3. Create Your Own Normal

Comparison is so disastrous. You may look at a friend's relationship and her bae texts her all day long...and you may feel some type of way because your bae doesn't text you all day long. So you start giving your bae failing grades based upon your friend's grading scale; not realizing that her bae doesn't have a job which frees him up to text her all day long. Meanwhile your bae is working his behind off. Just an example. Perhaps you want your bae to make you his #wcw EVERY week because your homegirl is her bae's wcw everyday. But what if your bae isn't into social media but finds a way to make you feel special...and not just on WEDNESDAYS. These are both very basic on the surface examples...but sometimes it's the small things that have us blowing to pieces what could have been a good relationship. Get your normal with bae and be cool with it. Don't let people challenge your normal. What's normal for me is completely different from what's normal for other people and I'm okay with that. As long as I'm happy! That is the approach that you must have to have when it comes to long as I'm happy.

And if happy turns to sad then let it go. Til then, roll with it.

BUT ummmm basically..don't let social media make/break your relationship.

If arguments ensue constantly because of who liking on whose pictures etc. or because certain emojis are being used and alla that....ask yourself...

Can I give up social media for the well-being of this relationship?

Better question: Should I have to?

Hmmm IDK. That is up for discussion. Part 2 is next week!!! GET EXCITED...IT'S A VLOG with me and my girls! ;)

PRAYER: God show us the way in every aspect of our situations. Make us well aware of the difference between being private and being a secret. Show us our worth and give us the wisdom and courage to accept only that. Give us victory over the need to conform to what people say is right if it doesn't agree with how you have set things up for us. Give us victory over allowing a social site to dictate our lives. Give us good sense and good judgment. Amen.

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