I looked casually at the clock as I realized that he was supposed to be picking his woman up from work at 4:30. She worked a good forty minutes away and it was already 4:45. She was blowing up his phone, and he was getting the best sleep of his life.
I reveled a bit at her anger or panic, whichever one she was feeling at the moment. She had recently confronted me about how I should respect her since she was in a relationship with him, and I had been waiting for a chance to respond the way I truly wanted to. Because my verbal jabs that should have clued her into what it really was didn't seem to register effectively.
So as he slept past picking her up from work, I took the biggest black permanent marker from my desk and wrote on his back.
M I N E
After completing my signature and settling into the joy of my disrespect, I woke him up and told him that his phone kept ringing. When he realized that he was in deep crap for not picking her up on time, he made a dash for the door. Not only was he late picking her up from work, but there was no doubt that she would see my little note on his back before he ever realized it was there. My work was done.
It was when I heard him nearly lose all four tires to hurry and leave my driveway that my joy turned to reality. He was in fact, not mine. He was in actuality, all hers.
So why am I telling this story? What is the point? I want to make a confession that I never thought I would make. I know who I was. I know the people, places, and things from which I have been rescued; but I never felt the need to share the truth publicly. Cause, yea no!
Here it is though:
I was a counterfeit h*3.
A counterfeit is defined as a fraudulent imitation of something else; a forgery.
So when I say a counterfeit h*3, that is my way of saying she's the fraudulent version of the woman God has created for that man. Now, it's not lost on me that sometimes women get caught up because she has been gaslighted and all the things. But MANY times. SO MANY TIMES a counterfeit h*3 knows she isn't the one but would rather stick around and interfere with the progression of the man and the real thing.
DISCLAIMER: This isn't the space where we are talking about all the wild scenarios and the responsibility of the man to do this or do that or not do this or not do that. In all places where ITMT is related, we place our focus on OURSELVES and let God work on everyone and everything else. And if you would like to tussle about what I have to say on MY blog, let's not. Go create and promote your own blog.
Now that I've said that...I want to speak directly to the counterfeit h*3s.
You will not win. It doesn't matter what manipulation tactics you use, you will not win. It doesn't matter how you spend your money on him, you will not win. It doesn't matter how you sow discord in his life, you will not win. Go to witch doctors to cast spells and put roots on people, all that dumb stuff (that people out here really doing), and YOU STILL WON'T WIN. Even if you loudly convince others that you don't desire something real from him, you will feel the loneliness hit when you need support in your real-life struggles and he isn't there for you because he isn't committed to you in that way. You will not win. When you are a counterfeit, there is nothing you can do to become the real thing. You can study the real thing to get as close as possible, but it will not work. Change your hair and you're still a counterfeit. Dress like her, and you're still a counterfeit. Change your profession or passion to hers, and you're still a counterfeit.
What's fake will never be real.
And hear me out. I'm not saying any of these things to be mean, ugly, or nasty. That's why I began this blog with my own confession that I was once a counterfeit h*3. I was doing the entire most to turn myself into the real thing that was supposed to be in that man's life. I was in my twenties and fully believed I could fit into a space that was never carved out for me. You see, God picks a woman for a man and a man for a woman and if you're not who God has picked...you are a counterfeit. Sometimes it takes time to realize you're not in the right place, and THAT is okay. But when you know, but you steady playing. You're a counterfeit h*3 and I won't take it back. Now, just because you're a counterfeit h*3 right now does not mean you have to always be one. There is a space in someone's life where YOU are the real thing. I implore you to do four things:
Repent. Ask God for forgiveness for not only blocking someone else's blessing by your stubbornness to make someone who isn't the one, THE ONE.
Let the Lord heal you from the comparison, rejection, low self-esteem, pride, and shame that are associated with being a counterfeit h*3.
Ask God to send someone to you who is YOUR person; where you are in fact the REAL THING.
Because you have been forgiven, you don't have to walk in condemnation or shame. You were once a counterfeit h*3, but you're not anymore!
If you choose to ignore these things, don't be surprised when you end up in less than favorable situations in life. When God writes a love story (or any story) --if you are the one trying to come between what God has done or is doing, you are positioning yourself against God. You may think you are positioning yourself against that woman, but really...no. You're making enemies with God. And who wants to do that?
I sent that man home to his woman with my name on his back. And guess what? He still wasn't mine. I laughed in that moment, but I didn't laugh for long. I don't hate a counterfeit h*3 because I have been one. I just want you to know that there is better for you. IF BY CHANCE you have no desire for marriage or a committed relationship, that is fine--but don't do the counterfeit thing with someone who has a story written in heaven with someone else.
I hope this is received with all the love with which I write this post. And one final thought: yes, there is the principle of sowing and reaping, but remember that God will cast your sin and foolishness into a sea of forgetfulness after repentance. So, once you're the real thing and no longer a counterfeit...enjoy it. You don't have to watch your back like a character in PowerBook. Rest in how God has forgiven and redeemed you.
You are loved, chosen, beautiful, and enough.
A former counterfeit h*3